the big 3: Rita, Tamara & Nicole

I'm no Zac Effron or Ben Affleck. Ur fukin wrong if u don't like them both, stupid ass. Anyway, I'm also not (plz forgive me) Steve Busemi (sorry, ur ok by me) or that freak of nature harelip Joaquin Phoenix (you suck). I consider myself lucky because more times then not I just make myself available & shit happens. If I wanted to hang with 10 particular girls, I have been lucky enuff to be with 9 outta that ten. My above average penis (as compared to a field mouse's), nor the space between my teeth has ever been a deterrent. I figured out along time ago that I just gotta be open, willing & available. If you don't make the scene, you don't know the score.
I've done many things that no one knows about, & I'll take that shit to the grave. I've lived it, you keep dreaming.

42nd Street, the Deuce

I'm old enough to have been to Show World, Peep Land & have my dad taken me to see the SHAW BROTHERS movies & the best fukkin horror ever made on the big screen.
Hookers? Any guy that has an issue with hookers or denys being with them is either a pussy or a liar. I watched live sex shows & had my own. I'm nothing special. Or am I? I just make myself available & shit happens.
THE MEMEORIES OF A MAN IN HIS OLD AGE, ARE THE DEEDS TO THE MAN IN HIS PRIME.
 I've quoted a crap load of song lyrics in my mongoloid blogs. Whoever can guess the bands/songs/quotes will get a free shipment of dvd's I'm gonna toss.
Sounds enticing, don't it?






Fukkin liars

Danny & Sandy

Danny really dug Sandy. She was electrifying but he was too worried about what his friends thought.
I was just a dumb 20 yr old boy.

Well son, Regrets a Funny Thing

Whatcha doing?
Chewing chocolate.
Where'd you get it?
Doggy dropped it.
Carry on.


I can't begin to explain what I'm going thru right now. I understand drastic measures some take to relieve their pains, I don't respect it, but I understand it. Not to be pretentious, but I guess I learned that I am (thanks Nicole Aitoro & Rita Fox):
Some people should die,
that's just unconscious knowledge.
Pigs in Zen

If I've learned anything from Kevin Smith movies, it's that stoners have all the fun.

I can attest to this. I've gone thru a few adventures in my time. & not to brag or boast about myself, but I will.


Exploits include but are not limited to:


teaching Sunday School - 3 yrs
managing hair salon, Dana Cole - approx. 6 years
singer in band - 5 years - 4 shows played
4 yr college degree - 7 years. A lot of people go to college for 7 years & aren't doctors.
9 months local public access hosting Halloween & Christmas show
5 yrs college radio
3.5 months stay in Chicago - I ran away with the Cirque Du Solie
20 yr drunk & 24 yr drug user
husband - let's say 17 yrs
father - 16 yrs
same job - 17 yrs


I'm kinda crispy & burnt. I forget things sometimes. I know there was more stupidity, I just can't remember it.


ANGRY REPEATING ANUS - 45 yrs

I forgot to mention AMERICAN PYSCHO by Brett Easton Ellis, f'n doi.

So my girlfriend at the time, lets call her, uh, Nicole Aitoro, she knows that something in the book will make me happy for having read it but she worried that the subject matter was going to be the tits to me. SHE WAS RIGHT. I thank her for introducing this novel to me (& fuk u if you didn't like the movie. You don't know shit.) I love the vapid, self indulgently destructive emptiness. From throwing coins into the sea otter tank, to stabbing the kid & definitely the cheese filled PVC tube. Extra bonus, a in depth retrospective of Huey Lewis & the News. I understood his sense of never being himself & never belonging. Thanks Nicole.

 I once had a girlfriend. Let's call her Nicole A. I really adored her. But I was just a typical d-bag boy & of course screwed it all up. She's a really good person & I miss having her in my life.

Nicole, I'm sorry, please forgive me for being an asshole.

So Nicole introduces me to American Pycho by Brett Eastson Ellis

     Nicole was hesitant, she had a little insight into me. She knew she was taking a chance, I would say I wasn't domesticated. You must understand that Nicole was a well rounded, intelligent, extremely funny beautiful girl. Man I wanted to get to hang out & spend sometime with her. She was THE girl I wanted to be with; and for some odd reason (brain tumor?) she dug me too. Fuck you all, most of you guys end up with whoever just says yes, convenient. I don't know why but, I got to hang with the object of my desire (I'm oddly lucky), but I screwed that thing up almost from the start. i.e. First flirty session, I cut her hand with a plastic knife (by accident but it kinda set the stage).
     Nicole, I'm sorry for being a douche to you, you didn't deserve it. I'm to blame. I hope you're doing well. I saw your pic on Sach's. Congrats & may I say, you're still beautiful. I wish you luck & last time I reached out to you, you were in a bad place & your anger towards me came out, I seriously meant no harm, it was shit timing. I offer my condolences. I apologize for upsetting you.

You will forever be in my heart & I regret being the way I was.

ULTIMATE SIDE OF COOLNESS & SERENDIPITY:
I was working at a hair salon & this really awesome lady that I had the hots for was reading the book. I immediately went from interested to infatuation. And later down the road, I suckered that cool lady into marrying me. BONUS.

I am Jack's Tumor Ridden Cortex

Yeah, I wanna be well.
Well maybe not, it's a rather precarious situation.

Some favor life, while others death. I straddle the fence & my balls hurt.

Screw you, I'm not looking for pity, I'm just relaying my side of it all, which is definitely open to interpretation, questioning & probably correction to boot.

My wife & I split up a little over a year ago. It was the right thing to do. She had the smarts to call it into play. It was the right thing to do. But it sux anyway. My baby she's alright. My baby, she's clean outta sight. She's some kind of wonderful. That's the truth.
My wife Rita is the best person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I am lucky to have had the time with her that I did. All the good & bad times, she's just amazing. Sorry for any part I played in our separation. I will forever love her & will forever be in love with her. It's sad, but I know that our split was for the best. For both of us. I want to be a great ex to her, she deserves it.