Right now I'm so lost. I have no clue about anything. I'm stuck in the biggest rut of my life so far & I'm not sure what to do. My 20 some odd year relationship disintegrated about 2 years ago & I still haven't bounced back. I know there will be no reconciliation but I can't seem to move on.
There is this romantic part of me that says suffer for your woman. Let her see how much she means to you. Never let her forget that you still care. You just gotta pay your dues boy & it'll al work out in the end.
Another part cries bullshit on that. Wake up bro, she's done some unforgettable & unforgiveable things to you. Just as you have to her. You will never be able to recapture that magic again. You know what they say about not learning from the past & history repeating itself. You're smarter than your emotions.
I'm so god damn confused about it all. Sadly, instead of doing anything, I sit & just waste away. The worst part is that I know what I'm doing & that I'm being of no help to myself. & yet, I sit & waste away.
I am pathetic.
But hopeful.
